Idol Speculation

I am going to write about American Idol, but you should know I am only doing it because the world is going to end in a few hours. If life were going on, I’d be self-conscious about admitting I’ve paid attention to Idol. But, as full-age ads in the USA Today have proclaimed this week, along with billboards and even a plane towing a sign yesterday over downtown Grand Rapids, today is Judgment Day. It’s also my son Jesse’s birthday, so we’re spending our last few hours on earth celebrating with Jesse. I plan to spend extravagantly and charge it all on a credit card.

Judgment Day raises a number of questions for me. Do the people in Europe who read my blog know the world is ending today? And what are you going to do, because apparently the trouble is supposed to start at 6pm Pacific time, which is technically tomorrow for you? Who knew that God would encode a message in the Bible thousands of years ago about the date and time of the apocalypse and use a US time zone? Wouldn’t Jerusalem time seem more appropriate?

I’m also wondering if the rapture does happen, will Christians like me who don’t believe the Bible says there will be a rapture get taken? Or will I be left behind with the wicked and unbelieving simply because of my poor theology? I guess I’ll find out later tonight.

You might also be amused to know that I heard yesterday May 21 is significant to the guy predicting the end of the world and paying millions of dollars to warn others, because apparently on May 21 some 40 or 50 years ago he was banned from teaching in the Christian Reformed Church. Those of you in West Michigan know the CRC, but for the rest of the world a good definition might be that the Christian Reformed Church is an actual church led by serious people, not wackos.

Anyhow, on to American Idol. I don’t watch it. Never have. But someone in my house got hooked on it this year and, vicariously, I’ve seen and heard enough to know a few things.

What I know is that Scotty will win.

What I also know is that American Idol seems one of the worst possible ways to become an American idol. People become famous (for a while) from that show, but who has Idol launched to a legitimate career? Everyone will say “Carrie Underwood,” which is accurate, but Idol is in its tenth season, which means they are batting .100.

A couple of days ago Haley was eliminated. Her candidacy to be an American idol points out everything wrong with the show. She sang a Led Zeppelin song this week with her dad on stage playing guitar. It was sweet. And that’s the problem. Name a great rock band that performed with their parents. No, the Partridge Family doesn’t count. John Lennon didn’t have parents by the time he was Haley’s age. Jim Morrison’s parents had disowned him. That’s where the angst in their music came from. Haley’s voice has apparently been compared to Janis Joplin’s, but I’m trying to imagine a 20-year-old Janis Joplin appearing on American Idol. She’d come on drunk, swear, try to seduce Ryan Seacrest, and get tossed off. While I don’t condone that sort of behavior, that’s what made her a rock star. To win on American Idol, you have to be bland enough to appeal to the 95 million who voted this week. (Don’t worry that Obama didn’t get 95 million votes in the last election. Most of the voters for Idol aren’t old enough to vote in presidential elections.) After she sang the Zeppelin song, Haley even said, “We got the Led out,” which is what vacuous classic rock DJ’s say every time they play Led Zeppelin on a two-fer Tuesday. AARRGGHH!

Look at it this way -- how would Lady Gaga (who is an American idol) have fared as a contestant on that show?

A story is circulating that Keith Richard was supposed to do something on Idol and deferred, recommending Justin Bieber as his replacement. That says it all.

Sorry if Idol is your guilty pleasure and I’m pooh-poohing it. Hopefully, the world ends tonight and we never have to decide between 16-year-old Lauren and 17-year-old Scotty. If it doesn’t, one way or another I’ll find out who wins – because, although Idol is no way to become a rock star, it’s formula makes for addictive television, and I know it will be on in my house.

Love Wins (except for when people are really mean)

I watched a good movie last night. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like I could say that. The movie was Easy A and it was funny and smart and I don’t need much more than that in a movie. It’s worth putting in your Netflix queue if you haven’t seen it. I especially loved the great supporting cast which included Stanley Tucci, Lisa Kudrow, Thomas Haden Church and Patricia Clarkson.

There was only one thing that bothered me about the movie and I’ve been contemplating it today. As you might gather from the title, the movie is a sort of modern retelling of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlett Letter. To keep with the theme from that book, the main character needs to be persecuted by some Christians. And there was the rub for me. The Christians were outlandish and cartoonish. They were caricatures rather than characters. I felt if the writer and director had created more realistic Christians, the movie would have had even more emotional power to it.

I know there are ridiculously judgmental Christians out there. But aren't most of us are much more subtle in our condescension and judgments?

This is affecting me in two ways. First, I’ve been working for months on a writing project in which I’ve created some Christian characters. For the story to work, one of my Christian characters needs to be judgmental. But I’ve been working hard not to make this character come off like a stereotype. It’s hard. Any tips you might have would be greatly appreciated. What are some of the more judgmental statements you’ve heard along the way from seemingly normal people?

Secondly, all of this relates to a teaching job I have the next three weeks. I’m doing a class called Theology Matters and it is inspired by the hubbub surrounding the publication of Rob Bell’s book Love Wins. Sadly, there was an enormous internet firestorm about this book before it was published (but, I dare say, not too sadly for Rob Bell – nothing sells like controversy!). Ironically, this book that is about NOT judging has brought out some incredibly judgemental responses. Agree or disagree with Rob Bell (and the careful reading I’ve been doing leaves me agreeing with about 93% of what he writes), is the publication of this book any reason to label him an emissary of Satan, a heretic and a false prophet leading thousands to perilous ruin? I’ve been spending a lot of time reading vitriolic web sites this week. After a while I can’t take it anymore because it’s all so sad. Then I find myself wondering how cartoonish the characters from Easy A really are. Whatever happened to subtlety or civility?

Here's some subtle and civil criticism. Although I live in the same town as Rob Bell, I don’t go to his church. I find myself an anachronism, preferring to worship in a place with hymns and an organ. And as a reader and writer, I don’t really connect too much with Rob Bell’s writing style --
which
is
often
like
this.
It’s sort of like reading a grocery list. I have some other criticism of a bit of the book's theology, but you'll have to come to my class to get that out of me.

On the other hand, I want to recommend this book if only for his treatment of the story of the Prodigal Son. I was thinking of preaching on that parable next month and found after reading Love Wins that I changed my mind – because all I’d want to do is plagiarize what Rob Bell wrote. It’s that good.

Read it if you haven’t, and watch Easy A if you haven’t. And most of all, for Christ’s sake, be nice to each other.

Should We Dance over Osama?

I don’t remember who said this (maybe Barry Sanders) but a football player was asked why he didn’t celebrate when he scored a touchdown and he said, “I act like I’ve been in the end zone before and like I plan to be there again in the future.”

The events of the last 36 hours have left me feeling sad about what we have chosen to celebrate. I wish we had the class and wisdom of that football player. Let me start by telling you a bit about my day yesterday …

I was asked this week if I could fill in for a minister who had just had retinal surgery, and having had a detached retina myself 26 years ago I know you can’t put off that surgery until it’s convenient. The odd twist to the preaching assignment was that the pastor of the church that asked me is also helping a vacant church in a community about 20 miles away from here. So I literally preached and ran from the first place, leaving before the service was even over to get to the second place, which I made with two minutes to spare. That’s not exactly a leisurely Sunday morning.

I will resist the temptation to repeat my sermon here – it’s bad enough for me to have heard it twice yesterday (and yes, I’m going to preach the same sermon again at still another church in two weeks). Suffice it to say it was on the parable of the Good Samaritan, and one of several points to be made about that story is that Jesus surprised his listeners by telling them their neighbor (who they should love as they love themselves) was the person unlike them instead of the person like them. The sermon was titled: Be Careful Who You Look Down On.

Then it was time to head to Davenport University’s commencement exercises to celebrate our son Jesse’s college graduation. It was a long ceremony – they called the name of every graduate and I didn’t keep count but there had to be around 1000 of them! Our family followed that with a nice celebration dinner and by the time we got home at the end of the day I was plenty tired. I should have gone to bed when I got home but I was just plain curious to see if the Detroit Tigers had broken their losing streak so I went downstairs and wound up watching the Phillies and Mets on Sunday Night Baseball for a while and then was just going to go to bed when I flipped the channels once and saw the news about Osama Bin Laden. My first thought was, “Nobody can hide forever” and my second was, “I hope this doesn’t cause more violence in the Middle East.” My third thought was, “I hope this somehow helps the families that lost loved ones on 9/11.”

When I got up today I’d forgotten about the Bin Laden news until I opened the morning paper I read online and then I had a major shock. How come I didn’t anticipate the flash mob celebrations about Bin Laden’s death outside the White House or Ground Zero? I was stunned. And frankly, I was appalled. As I read about our celebrations I seriously wondered for the first time in a year if I’d made a mistake by moving back to the US from Europe. All I could think of was how good it was to celebrate my son’s graduation -- which is a celebration of his completing college but more than that a celebration of him, of his life, of his dreams and of his future – and how our family celebration of life was muted compared to this spontaneous celebration of death. The other thing I thought of was how discordant the celebrations were in light of the words I had spoken Sunday morning – to love one’s neighbor as one’s self. And in case you think Osama wasn’t your neighbor, that’s why Jesus went to the lengths he went to in telling the story of the Good Samaritan. The neighbor isn’t the person similar to you that you’re already inclined to like, the neighbor is the person you’re inclined to despise.

I’m not saying the military operation was wrong. I understand the quest for justice for all the perpetrators of the horrors of 9/11 and believe Bin Laden and others like him have dishonored Islam and made our world a far more dangerous place. But should we dance and exult in his death? I don’t think so. What do you think?

Good News for Good Friday

I know, I know, the last thing you want to read today is a sermon. But … I did the meditation last night at our Maundy Thursday service and told a couple of stories. One of them is fit to repeat here. If it feels too much like a sermon let me know.

I remember a night in high school when a swim meet had just ended and I was talking to a kid and another kid came up to us and said, “Hey, are you guys going someplace?” Just the way he said it rubbed me wrong and I said, “Yeah, we’re going to Petko’s, meet us there,” and that kid went off to meet us at that restaurant while the first kid and I – who never had any plans to begin with – went to our respective homes. It was NOT a nice thing to do. Life went on, we graduated, I moved away from Flint, Michigan, and onto other places and other things, but … from time to time over the past 35 years I have thought of that night, and when I do I’m always filled with a fair amount of guilt. Whenever someone would mention that guy’s name I’d think of that night and feel bad about what a callous jerk I used to be (as opposed to the nice jerk I’ve turned into).

Last year, through the magic of Facebook, the guy found me. I was living in the Netherlands at the time, so we did a little Facebook chatting, but then I moved back to Michigan and one day he wrote and said he had to come to Grand Rapids and wondered if we could have lunch together. We’re eating lunch, catching up with each other, and finally I couldn’t take it anymore. I spilled my guts, confessing how terrible I’ve felt for 35 years and wondering if he could ever forgive me for my unkindness.

“You did what?” he said.

I went through the whole story again.

“That’s funny,” he said. “I remember you were always funny. That sounds like something funny you’d do.”

“You don’t remember?”

“No,” he said, “Not at all.”

“You weren’t scarred for life?”

“No,” he said laughing. “I guess not.”

Well, if he wasn’t, how come I was?

This is the point of last night and today on the church calendar. As Don Henley sang a few decades ago, when you get down to the heart of the matter it’s about “forgiveness.” The first part of forgiveness, from God’s point of view, is that he doesn’t remember. When God remember us, he remembers that he loves us; he remembers that he thinks we do funny and endearing things, but he doesn’t remember the terrible things we’ve done. In Isaiah 43 he says it like this: “For my own sake I will blot out your transgressions and I will remember your sins no more.” For his own sake! Like my friend – better to forget than be scarred by it.

This leads to one of the harder parts of forgiveness – forgiving ourselves. I just touched on this briefly last night, and I won’t dwell on it here, but really if the Good News is good at all, then we’ve got to be able to integrate our lives in a healthy way, to accept and love and most of all forgive ourselves. Like my friend, God forgave and forgot a long, long time ago. Can we do that?

Thanks Delta -- This Was Interesting!

I’ll be watching tonight’s Milwaukee at Philadelphia game on ESPN (provided it isn’t snowed out!), hoping to hear Rick Sutcliffe, the color commentator, say something about the remarkably brilliant baseball fan he sat next to yesterday on a flight from KC to Detroit, the first leg of his trip to Philly. The remarkably brilliant fan, of course, was little old me.

Through the ministrations of Delta Airlines, I found myself seated next to Sutcliffe, the 1979 National League Rookie of the Year and winner of the 1984 NL Cy Young Award. We did happen to talk a little baseball. My famous memory worked its quirky charms and even managed to backhandedly insult him – somehow I remembered he was traded from Cleveland to the Cubs for Mel Hall and forgot Joe Carter was in the deal. Mel Hall was a borderline player; Joe Carter was a perennial All-Star. Oops.

For all you long-suffering Cub fans – did you know that Major League Baseball took home field advantage away from the Cubs in the 1984 playoffs? In the best of five series, the Cubs won the first two at Wrigley, lost the next two at San Diego, and had to win game five to head into the World Series for the first time since 1945. However, because there were no lights at Wrigley Field in those days, MLB decreed game five would be played in San Diego because they wanted the game broadcast in prime time. Who knows if playing at home would have made a difference, but the Cubs managed to lose that game and their World Series drought continues unabated decades later.

After the 1984 season, coming off the Cy Young, Sutcliffe was a free agent and was courted by his hometown Kansas City Royals. They offered him a lifetime contract – similar to the deal they had given George Brett. How many of us have that sort of chance in life? But something happened in Kansas City that winter – the intensity of the attention got to Sutcliffe. He told me that reading about it every day and being approached everywhere (he mentioned being “cornered” in a restaurant) repelled him. He didn’t want to be that famous – he thought of his two-year-old daughter and he wanted a chance for her to have a normal life. So he rejected a lifetime of financial security and re-signed with the Cubs. I thought that was a marvelous story of someone standing at a crossroads and seeing the down side of the things so many of us fantasize about.

Another crossroads came as his career was waning. He said he was aware of players using steroids and other performance enhancing drugs. He even “named names” of former teammates he could hardly recognize anymore because of the physical changes that had happened to them. He made the decision not to use – and wondered for years if he’d made the right choice. After all, look at what steroid use did for the late careers of Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens – they defied time and became better players late in their 30’s than they had been when they were younger. At that time steroids were not illegal in baseball. There were millions of dollars at stake. The health risks were not as well documented as they are today. Why not do it?

I thought of how easy it is for fans to look down on players who chose to use steroids – but we have no idea what we’d do in similar circumstances. How many people reading this have left a few million dollars on the table? And, even today, what are the consequences for those who did choose steroids? The record books aren’t going to be changed. Nobody is making Mark McGwire or Alex Rodriquez give back the tens of millions they earned. Why shouldn’t they have done it?

Sutcliffe mentioned his daughter to me again, and said, “She tells me I have the benefit of being able to fall asleep at night with a clear conscience.”

It’s a remarkable thing to think about. As I raced through the Detroit airport yesterday in a mad dash to get from gate A21 to gate C24 in 17 minutes, I was reflecting on how cool it was to have been able to talk to him for an hour or so. If you don’t have anything going on tonight, turn on ESPN and listen to the big guy for a while. It might help you keep in mind our common humanity, and the twisting paths our lives take.

A Radio Program

I think this is cool but I'm biased. If you click here http://spotlightradio.net/listen/teammates/ you can read and listen to my first radio script that has been produced. It's one of my all-time favorite stories. This will be broadcast sometime this month, but you have to live in someplace like Mumbai to hear it -- it's produced for the non-English speaking world.

All Things Fred

Here's an April First treat instead of a trick. Go to www.buechnerinstitute.org and peruse the site. If you click on the link to their blog, you will see a short message I gave at the inauguration of the Buechner Institute four years ago. But don't stop there. You can read some of what Katherine Patterson (author of The Bridge to Terebithia) said at the BI a few weeks ago, and you can find information on this year's Buechnerfest. Give it a serious look -- you won't be disappointed.